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apathy is harder than it looks



























 
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neal's pizzeria
 
28.5.05  
Several thoughts on morality:
Morals, instincts and values are all bullshit. They are a result of a lack of conscious thought and a unrealized use of unconscious thought. People who have them, live by them, believe in them are misleading themselves. The human mind is great at weighing massive amounts of arguements and evidence for different attittudes and beliefs. This is good as long as the person knows that they are doing so. If she don't realize this, she will become prone to thinking that she holds the "intuitive" view and is right. She don't realize that moral, instincts, and values are a result of all the evidence she has unconsciously collected and summarized throughout her life. Many people live like this, operating out of these unconsciously-created biases, believing in themselves or a higher idea. Don't trust ideas with uncertain sources. Don't follow your instincts. Don't trust your gut. All of these ways of reasoning, deciding, and living are flawed and will create a distorted world view.

11:48

13.4.05  
my sadness grows like the zones of construction. the sadness during sex that is out of place. it sets in right before you climax, when you realize this cannot go on forever, that in ten seconds you will be alone again and you will never become one. Your head thrashes back, breaking the build-up. Your synapses snap, separating you from this painful goodness that has built such pressure throughout your body. You forget it all and slip into the loneliness of a buzzing world.
12:20

27.3.05  
There are so many secrets I keep for you people because I love you. I swallow your vulnerabilities and your moments of insecurity and forget them.
00:36