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apathy is harder than it looks
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10.9.02
Observations.....Nadka is a baabe! She is such a baabe I mispelt the word "babe" twice just for her! Mr. Moore really picks favorites. He seems to be in love with Jenny. So much so that he told me and Phil to get away from her. She consistantly got exceedingly high grades in his class even when she admited to slacking off. She recieved points for being herself I remember. Mr. Moore may be joking but so much consistent favoritism gives me doubts. With me he seems to constantly checking on me...looking over my shoulder even when I just go to the bathroom, asking if I have my notes done. He is either jealous of me and my past closeness to Jenny, or is just trying to honestly get me to achieve my highest human potential. Death....Last night I was up mucho late pour das studies. I have these episodes in which I realize the my effemeral exsistance on this planet and my heart rate escallates and I feel scared of death, of not having familiar mental processes, of being and doing nothing. Now I figure that even if I were to live forever my human mentality would yearn for the past. I would grow weary of all those I could ever love dying and I would seek to die as well. Death in natural and also unpredictable. The best attitude one can possess is that they could die at any time so reach for the stars and even if you miss stay happy. Everyone wants to die happy.
20:32
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