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apathy is harder than it looks
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23.9.02
Top ten reasons why all squirrels must die
1. Squirrels are the spawn of Satan.
They are evil creatures that live mysterious lives in the forests plotting against the rest of the world.
2. Squirrels cause millions of dollars of damage to power transformers and lines every year.
They are one of the top causes of power outages and damage to very expensive equipment. They seem to be attracted to transformers and fly into them like Kamikaze pilots.
3. Squirrels have been the cause of deaths of innocent citizens from automobile wrecks throughout the years.
How many times have innocent automobile drivers barely avoided running off the road trying to miss (or to hit) a squirrel taunting them in the middle of the road? Some are not so lucky and wreck due to these furry little beasts.
4. Squirrels do millions of dollars worth of home damage.
They are masters of break-ins, destroying siding, vents, wires, ect. in the process.
5. Squirrels have no respect for privacy or property rights.
They move into to attics and will not leave. They are not invited. An attic is not an oak tree, and they know this. They are too lazy to build their own homes so they try to take over someone else's. They move around in the attic at night scaring young kids and women.
6. Squirrels are notorious thieves, stealing food and property from other animals and people.
They are the most skilled thieves on the planet. They are hated by birds and their watchers all over. They love to steal nuts and fruits. When measures are taken to prevent them from getting the prize, they try that much harder.
7. Squirrels assault people's gardens all over the world causing millions of dollars in crop damage.
They get into people's gardens and destroy the vegetables, fruits, and flowers. They rarely even consume them, they just destroy them for the fun of it.
8. Squirrels caused the black plague in Europe and currently carry numerous life threatening diseases including rabies and bubonic plague.
It is a historic fact that squirrels, as well as their brothers the rats, were one of the carriers of the black plague in the Middle Ages throughout Europe leading to the horrible deaths of millions.
9. Squirrels are the most vicious animal on the planet and will attack any animal or human they come in contact with.
There are countless documented accounts of squirrel attacks. They terrorize people and are vicious foes. It is no accident that squirrels are portrayed in film as they are, insane little creatures that do not think anything of attacking people.
10. Squirrels kill and castrate other squirrels.
Naturalists that have studied squirrels have discovered many alarming behaviors among them. Squirrels fight even among themselves. A male squirrel will invade the tree of an enemy squirrel and bite of the testicles of the young in the nest.
I must admit that I have copied and pasted this as I am not insane enough to come up with this. I give props to http://www.student.smsu.edu/j/jmw894s/Opinions/squirrels.htm For more proof of squirrels being evil check out the following websites... Kylie's Public Service Announcement Open Directory - Recreation: Humor: Animals: Squirrels: Anti-Squirrels For proof that cats are evil check out these websites... Mean Kitty Ninja cats My Cat Hates You
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