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apathy is harder than it looks
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29.10.03
I would rather cry than laugh. Laughter is too easy and cheap and it usually comes at the expense of others. People laugh in the face of what they see as scary, strange, or stupid. I laugh a lot.
23:48
19.10.03
Love is not only a justification for sex. It also justifies other things like marriage, murder, and Barney.
18:42
the world is too bright to be looked at directly. if we tried to, it would blind us. instead we blind ourselfs in other ways. we cloud our vision with alcohol, the haze of smoke, and the tint of the tv screen. we hide from the truth in our stories, our religions, our spirituality. a drug junkie's conception of reality is as contorted as pieous churchgoes'. they both delude themselves into a state of denial, a state of disbelief in the fact that they are insignificant, imperfect, and without priciple, purpose or plan, that they live in a world created in, governed by and that will be ended in chaos. they lack control and this makes them afraid, afraid enough to bury themselves in lies.
people assume they have a right to happiness. what have you seen in your life that shows you are special. that you are different from other people who suffer, that you for some reason are better and deserve more than people who aren't happy. what master plan is in place to grant you satisfaction in everything you do?
Chaos or order rules this world. Neither can be declared the victor unti lit is proven that there is a course for everything or there is not. I believe there is a reason for everything and order; we have just not found every truth. even if we could learn all the rules that govern this universe, we'd also have to know the current state of the universe at one point in time to be able to predict anything. both of these are so unattainable at this time that there is uncertainty in everthing we do.
18:37
14.10.03
I love college. One day I was hanging out in the hallway with my friends being weird and some guy walked by and said, "Hello my hallucination." WOW! How many people can be mistake for drug effects!? I love college.
21:42
9.10.03
practice for those harder hits
practice for those bigger bites
practice for those longer roads
practice for those darker nights
practice for some god above
practice for some man instead
practice till you reach perfection
practice till you lie down dead
12:05
3.10.03
everyone loves people who operate solely on principles. i therefore attempt to operate on the principle that if I pretend I'm always drunk by slurring my speech and that I am always high by staring off into the distance that people will underestimate me, thus enabling me to take over the world by stealing their signs while they sleep.
22:01
I am changing my label for this blog to make it more emo so I have posted it to keep it.
07:53
where the old thoughts come to die and leave their fossilized remains for your reading pleasure
07:52
2.10.03
When it no longer becomes a question. When it no longer matters. When you have given up all hope. When you have given up all desire. Then and only then will you ever be free.
04:26
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