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apathy is harder than it looks
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2.12.03
I thought I had accepted my life as is. I thought I had begun to live life out of habit rather than desire. I took a shower. The hot water relaxed my muscles and mind. As my soul unwound I saw holes in it. I found myself still uncomplete. A void dwelled in my heart, threatening to collapse it. But what was it that I lack? I spat at myself with almost reflex speed the answer, the need. I need someone to love completely. Where I see people that would accept my love, I see criminals. People who operate only out of motive, giving me attention because of who I am, not because I am a person like anyone else.
04:59
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