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apathy is harder than it looks



























 
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subtlety is a luxury



























neal's pizzeria
 
27.6.04  
opposite personalities attract, pulling each other toward a more healthy norm.
03:16

25.6.04  
nothing attracts a man like a woman who rejects him. finally he has someone who can see the truth; that he is nothing but a heap of shit.
03:20

22.6.04  
America preaches growth; personal and economic. We learn to want more, to never be content with what we have. We lack balance, stability, and happiness. In a world of limited resouces we can only grow so much until we collapse under our own weight. People die less and less of wasting away diseases but rather of cancers; diseases of excessive growth. We must relearn everything so the volitile powers that have made us amazing species do not also cause our downfall.
17:59

20.6.04  
today on my blog I confront the age-old question of foreign policy.

conservative foreign policy: propogate "american values" of democracy and capitalism will develop rest of the world

weaknesses: foreigners will resist forced assimilation. hypocracy of forced democracy. economies of third world countries cannot grow when they are exploited by first world countries.


liberal foreign policy: work as a mediator, if anything emphasize freedom of government type

weaknesses: some horrible situations cannot be mediated out of some governments abuse human rights.


Both views are flawed. What is needed? A compromise between two flawed ideas? What about a worldwide government? Should we give up the belief in human rights and just let everyone do as they please? I need someone to talk to about politics.

05:08

19.6.04  
I promise to bring you nothing but love, or the belief that it doesn't exist.
02:04

15.6.04  
People pay attention to ideas that reaffirm those they already have. Liberals will go to watch fahrenheit 9/11.
Conservatives watch fox news. They avoid each other's evidence, seeking only to find more for their own beliefs. They do not look at all evidence, but only that which suits them. If an enemy pushes evidence in their face they look at it only with a constant monologue going about all the hidden agenda of the evidence and how it ultimately is wrong. People ignore, forget, and deny opposing viewpoints.

If people were actually able to change their minds, to think for their selves, to objectively weigh ideas against each other there would be no churches, political parties, or countries. Compartmented social organization is dependent on the social rigidity of ideology.

03:18

 
I have been playing too much solitaire.
I know it is too much because half of the time I do it now, I don't enjoy it.

The worst part about solitaire is that you start fifty-two dollars in deficit when you start a new game. What a depressing thought: to start in debt.

03:16

13.6.04  
I see only the enjoyable and the annoying. I think of all the things in the world I am indifferent to and am afraid. I feel as thought I am walking across busy highways under a new moon in the middle of a city with all the lights shot out. All the cars that shoot pass me are as black as the night that surrounds me. One could kill me at any moment, but I cannot see.
01:13

8.6.04  
you remind me of how i gave up. my weakness is your strength. i look at you and see how i failed. i suppose you envy me. don't. i am more confused than ever. at least you can still believe.
01:21

7.6.04  
my computer runs weekly searches for viruses.
i go to the doctor less often, but it is the same search.
we fight our battles one at a time, tearing off stems, while something else lies beneath our feet.
the virulent force that drives the power of life and consequential inevitable decay.

04:28

5.6.04  
I despise those conservation ads with punchlines such as, "If everyone flushed the toilet one less time a day, we would save 2 billion gallons of freshwater."
These ads seem to imply life would be better if we had a dictator telling us to go to the bathroom less. They also assume that if we saved this 2 billion gallons, something good would come of it... we could send it to third world countries or something. As great as that sounds (I'd advocate it), I don't see it happening soon unless America changes its entire system of ethics.

16:14