"

apathy is harder than it looks



























 
old
<< current













 
subtlety is a luxury



























neal's pizzeria
 
24.2.03  
stop! the love you save may be your own. darling take it slow or someday you'll be all alone...
18:47

22.2.03  
she saw what she wanted
saw only the best
saw what she wanted
ignored all the rest

she saw what she wanted
only saw lies
she saw what she wanted
without opening her eyes

she shunned the truth
embraced all the fake
and was rewarded with happiness
she had made no mistake

23:42

19.2.03  
101 ways to stop caring...
1. don't look at her in the eyes again...ever
2. avoid passing her house in a car, on foot, or by bike
3. change your tastes to be different from hers
4. give back anything you own of hers
5. use the defence mechanism of sublimination to vent your frustration upon something constructive such as video games
6. go running (not past her house)
7. numb yourself to pain by sleeping outside in the snow (if you have no snow a freezer will do. If you have no freezer god bless you)
8. stop going to church if you share it with her
9. drop all classes you have with her
10. avoid her in the halls by walking outside
11. hypnosis
12. car crash amnesia
13. eat the old love letters
14. drink gallons of tabasco sauce in order to fry your ofactory nerve so you will be unable to smell and thus unable to smell any smell that might remind you of her
15. move to texas
16. get married
17. blah enough whining out of me I must get to bed. Barricades to rise, soldiers to kill. There is no rest for the dramatic.

00:26

16.2.03  
les poissons! les poissons! hehehe honhonhon!
19:14

 
I'm particularly good at expectorating!!!
19:13

 
Long time....no turnips
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

19:10

 
wow, what a day! I will start by saying I was very happy to see my sister for the first time since christmas break. I will conclude by saying I had dim sum, grass juice, algae juice, sat in a chair that was shaped like a big hand, and considered purchasing a jesus action figure. Those of you have read segments of my incongruetous journal may recall my mentioning of a need for a jesus action figure. Well, my prayers have been answered and although he may not walk on water (floatableness) he does glide! Score!!! In ithaca there is also this time in which pedestrians run rampant!! At cross walks suddenly all lights turn red and people can cross the street anytime! Wow...I am easily amused. Ohhh I also got to drive for the first time in forever and it was ok!
19:10

7.2.03  
"Well the future's got me worried
Such awful thoughts
My head's a carousel of pictures
The spinning never stops
I just want someone to walk in front
And I'll follow the leader
Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush
Started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs
I almost forgot who I was
But I came to my senses
Now I'm trying to be assertive
I'm making plans
Gonna rise to the occasion yeah
Meet all their demands
But all I do is just lay in bed
And hide under the covers
Yeah I know I should be brave
But i'm just too afraid of all this change
And it's too hard to focus through all this doubt
I keep making these to-do lists but nothing gets crossed out
Working on the record seems pointless now
When the world ends who's gonna hear it?
But I'm trying to take some comfort in written words
Yeah, I heard your album and it's better than good
When we get off tour I think we should
Hang and black out together
'Cause I been feeling sentimental for days gone by
All the summers singing, drinking, laughin
Wasting our time
Remember all the songs and the way we smiled
In those basements made of music
But now I've got to crawl to get anywhere at all
I'm not as strong as I thought

So when I'm lost in a crowd
I hope that you'll pick me out
How I long to be found
The grass grew high, I laid down
Now I'm waiting for a hand
To lift me up, help me stand
I've been laying so low
Don't wanna lay here no more
Don't wanna lay here no more

Everything that happens is supposed to be
And it's all predetermined can't change your destiny
Guess I'll just keep moving
Someday maybe I'll get to where I'm going"
~Bright Eyes ~ nothing gets crossed out

23:44

 
you can abuse me
so long as you choose me
please girl
don't leave me alo....o..one

07:12

4.2.03  
merry birthday!
00:02

3.2.03  
viva la difference!!!

00:50

 
"The urge to trancend this world and the temporal life is yet another result of weakness. "Sick religions," such as Christianity, are pervaded by a fear that there is no ultimate meaning, unity, goal, or purpose in life. Therefore, the promise of an eternal hereafter is to quell the fears of the weak, to give them a goal, and a sense of security that the universe is a place where good is rewarded."
copyright 1993 compac classics Inc. "Beyond good an devil: prelude to a philosophy of the future"
Dude.. Friedrich Nietzsche is the man.
he also goes on about truth being nothing but a individual's or group's manifestation. Truth is made.

00:48

2.2.03  
My theory on why old rich men marry young attractive women:


1~ to produce children there need to be members of the opposite sexes


2~ the women must be at least relatively young to have children


3~ the women much be at least mildly attractive to balance out the ugliness of the man. face it, the male body is rarely a beautiful thing. The male reproductive organ, for example, looks like a freakish monster out of a 1970's b movie.


4~ the man must be old because men are dumb. the dumbest ones are eliminated over time due to accidents envolving fast cars, sky diving, or power tools. only the mildly intelligent ones ever make it out of their twenty's without being either killed or imprisoned. to have a mildly intelligent child, a old man is required.


5~ the man must be partially wealthy as a sign of intelligence necessary to aquire money. this all leads back to the dumb factor in part four

18:33

 
I love aspirin. Not only does it take my head-pain away, but it has a great bitter taste. After having aspirin everything tastes sweet.
18:24

 
joy is a symptom of infatuation, that ugly pretense for love. True love hurts. It hurst so badly because you don't know what to do. Every second is spent in pure horror in which you wonder if you've said the wrong thing, moved the wrong move, or touched the wrong touch. And by doing nothing at all out of fear of losing your love, even if you never had her to begin with, you lose her anyway because you have not shown her how much she means to you.
00:45

1.2.03  
Cotton is dead...fur instead!!! hahahaha
17:44

 
one more day to revolution...we will nip it in the bud
we'll be ready for these schoolboys...they will wet themselves with blood!

17:43

 
When I first arrived in high school I attempted to go to dances. After requesting a song and having the dj respond, "What do you think this is? A Heavy Metal concert?" I decided not to go again.
16:53

 
in such a chaotic world I would like to take some time and awknowledge barry manilow for his wonderful contributation to the world of punk covers: I write the songs. Take it away Barry...

I've been alive forever,
and I wrote the very first song.
I put the words and the melodies together,
I am music,
and I write the songs.
I write the songs that make the whole world sing.
I write the songs of love and special things.
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.
I write the songs, I write the songs.
My home lies deep within you,
and I've got my own place in your soul.
Now, when I look out through your eyes,
I'm young again, even though I'm very old.
I write the songs that make the whole world SING!!!
I write the songs of love and special things!!!!
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.
I write the songs, I write the songs.
Oh my music makes you dance
and gives your spirit to take a chance,
and I wrote some rock 'n' roll so you can move.
Music fills your heart,
well, that's a real fine place to start.
It's from me it's for you,
it's from you, it's from me,
it's a world wide symphony!
I write the songs that make the whole world SCREAM!!!*
I write the songs of love and special things!!!
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.
I write the songs, I write the songs.




*Barry does not use this exact phrasing in the original

16:42